5.26.2010

How to do the Casual/FWB thing right

In case you were in doubt, or found yourself constantly confused about the terms and conditions of your casual relationship (a.k.a fuck buddy, physical thing, friends with benefits, boy toy, side piece, side ho, outside woman/man, booty call) [deeeep breath in], Erika Brooks Adickman of Popwaffle.com fame took some time out of her busy schedule to help you with your situation. 


I came across this JOY to behold while watching some VCsquared (viewer created content) on CurrentTV. If you have some time, check out both websites for a healthy laugh during a boring work day.


Consider it a Public Service - because I know you were going to ask about this eventually, and how lucky are we that Erika already did the research for us?!!?! (I'd say about as lucky as OJ was... the first time around)







If you can't see the vid, visit http://current.com/entertainment/comedy/90310975_how-to-have-casual-sex.htm
Thanks Erika! Somewhere in the world right now someone is not making an ass of himself/herself. 




Know your role!!!

5.22.2010

Dear Freakz 'n' Geekz

Dear Freakz n Geekz,


I've been seeing this guy casually for a few months now. The sex is great, and he's really into the communication during sex bit which is excellent because it's like a personalized experience telling him what I like and what not. But this time around I was caught off guard. Why? He stuck a finger or two up my ass! Literally! I'm a little freaky... but that is beyond my freaky threshold. I'm concerned that next he'll be trying to stick his dick up my ass too. What should I do?


Sincerely,
It's A One Way Underpass




Dear IAOWU ,


Take that stick out your ass and get down with the down way below! Let loose and enjoy! Relax!! Ok Ok. I kid. Clearly you are a bit uncomfortable. That's ok. But anxiety will not help your dilemma. If it's not your cup of tea then the answer is simple. Tell him! If he's so great with communication and catering to your body then letting him know you don't like any plugs in that hole should not be a problem. Once you let him know this, if he does make another attempt at insertion, then I'd say you should walk your casual behind out the door... and never go back.


But...
Did you know that the concentration of nerve endings in/around the anus is so high that it's basically an orgasm waiting to happen??? (. . . or at the least added arousal). I'm not telling you to jump right in, but if you are comfortable with this guy then you should explore play that does not involve inserting any objects, human or otherwise, into your ass. A viable option is rimming, which involves the tongue and no insertion - however you and your guy will have to work out post-rimming kissing/activities and all those pressing deets. :). Better you than me.




Keep it freaky!!!

5.12.2010

Eat your way to Orgasm heaven!

So on Dr. Oz on Tuesday, author Marrena Lindberg appeared promoting her Orgasmic Diet "a 3-step plan to help women boost their libido and achieve orgasm." (You'll find the link on the right)


For the most part, Lindberg makes sense. Besides the fact that eating more healthily may allow you to live longer to enjoy more sex, feeling healthy always has a positive effect on self esteem, confidence, and ability to perform. Below are the three steps and I have included 1 tip to each of the steps.


  1. Increase testosterone: We know it's linked to libido and arousal in men and women. One of the ways to do this is to make proteins at least 30% of your caloric intake. A great side effect of eating protein is increased metabolism which means you'll be burning fat when you aren't having sex. 
  2. Increase dopamine: Eat fish! The omega-3 fatty acids in fish and fish oil supplements helps increase dopamine. Dopamine is essential to pleasure... pleasurable sex is fun every now and then, no? Make sure to consult with a physician first since supplements may cause drug interactions.
  3. Decrease Serotonin: Reduce starchy foods and sugar. Ever notice that major high and then the even major crash after you binge on cake, cookies, sweets and more junk food? Yeah, that's it! If you are on psych meds this step may not be for you since e.g. depression meds work to increase serotonin in the brain. Never fear there is plenty that you can do in the other 2 steps to help your drive. You can also talk to your psychiatrist about changing medication if the low libido is a severe side effect.
Don't forget that not smoking, limiting caffeine intake, and regular exercise also contribute to a healthier lifestyle. Around here there are no self-proclaimed health gurus and diet enthusiasts. However, we do want you to have your best sex while you are alive :).

The Proverbial Silver Spoon

No too long ago I had a convo with a friend who was getting to know this guy that was two breaths short of being a model. Sexy Indeed! So they went out went home and had a great time fucking... or so I hoped. I guess I fell victim to the misconception that all good looking people are good at everything... yeah right. 

Le sigh.

I was really rootin' for ole boy but according to my friend it was less than entertaining... BUT... the plot thickens!!! This friend is one of the rare specimens of women that can orgasm with ease during sexual intercourse. She's been so blessed with the ability that I have labeled it a COC ability i.e. Cum on Command ability. So basically the sex wasn't good for her because she didn't orgasm, which got me to thinking...

For the rest of us females who have had to put in practice and make a concerted effort to learn our bodies and after years finally  learn how to reach orgasm; those of us who did not come out of the womb with COC emblazoned on our vaginal walls... well, we have learned to enjoy sex even when we don't orgasm, right? We learn to take pleasure in different sensations while chasing, what is for many of us for many years, the elusive orgasm. So is it that she has been spoiled by the capabilities of her vagina?

I have had some really great sex and didn't have an orgasm... but honestly, now that I know what it feels like to orgasm during intercourse, I'll have to admit that it would have been excellent had I orgasmed then. So is it really a case of not knowing what you're missing when you've never had it? Or is it a case of the proverbial Silver spoon of sex?

5.06.2010

Numero Uno!

I decided to start this blog because in the past few months I have come to realize that even in the liberal and care free twenties, there are just too many taboos when it comes to sex. It alarms me the number of females I know who are yet to be comfortable even saying the dreaded “S” word. So my real goal here, above all else, is to empower and educate females of all ages, sizes, ethnicities and orientations.
This blog is a judgment free zone . . . that is, it is a judgment free zone in as much as you choose not to feel judged by my advice. We keep it real . . . and very sexy. Here the aim is to demystify the notion that sex should be quarantined from the rest of our lives. Regardless of age, religion, class, race, sexual preference or political views, we are human. That means we have urges, wants and needs that should be met. It’s hard enough figuring out what those desires are without having to figure out how to have them met.
Especially for those who approach sex with great apprehension, much trepidation, and sometimes straight out fear, I hope that this blog will some how create a forum for all the discussion to unfold. It’ll run the gamut from how to’s in bed to relationship and dating advice. Things can get really real, so brace yourself and take that stick you didn’t know you had out your ass.
Sexual liberation and empowerment- I am all for it. From the S&M kind to the “I’m gonna do it with the lights on” kind to the “I know I’m the shit” kind. But the key to gaining this empowerment and liberation, besides being safe, is being confident. One does not have to be confident in what one does… because let’s face it, no one knows every thing and no one’s tried it all. The key is to be confident in oneself, in one’s skin, in one’s body, and as cliché as it may seem, everything else really does fall into place. Confidence is the sexiest garment one can wear, a fine quality to possess annnd guess what? The shit is free and has a 100% success rate.
So ladies let’s raise our glasses to learning ourselves and loving ourselves and having fun along the way. Partners, you may raise your glasses to reaping the benefits of our self discovery.