12.16.2011

F&G Approved: Eat it Right!




Now granted, I don't agree with all of his opinions all of the time but I can however, put the F&G stamp of approval on this one.


Take note ladies & gentlemen....


*Get freaked*




8.03.2011

My Letter to Black Women - Re - Lil Kim's Vagina

Freakz n Geekz... Have you missed me?

Well I have missed you. And I'm back! I've been thinking about what I could do to recommit to this here sexy blog and I wanted to start off on a great note with some tips about the art of self pleasure... but I saw something in tumblr world that has pissed me off to high heaven.

Recently pictures of rapper Lil Kim performing at a venue have been circulating on the interwebs. Welp, you might say that if it is Lil Kim you expect ratchet. Ok you are entitled to that opinion. SO basically, these pictures are of her *brace yourself* ... Vulva. Kimmy clearly wasn't wearing any underwear. But that wasn't even the shocker. I mean we know what Lil Kim is about and being demure and conservative isn't it at all.

However, what concerned me was the reaction that resulted. I have never see such disgust or disdain expressed for the female genitals by people who have them and people who like to be all up in em. I mean it was quite disturbing, so I wrote this letter to the folks on Tumblr (... and the interwebs). It's long, but relevant!

Dear Tumblr - Re: Lil Kim's Vulva...


I have an affinity for the female body, including the vulva. Not in a sexual way, but in a “wow, look at how beautiful we were made, how glorious, how woman in her ALL is a true reflection of Life.”
But these pictures of Lil Kim’s Vulva are disturbing to me. Why?
Lil Kim needs to do better. She was actually looking decent in these pictures - makeup more blended than usual, dress fitting ok, and then we pan down and her vulva is just waving hello. This disturbs me because it appears to me ( and I am sure other members of the public) that Kim is doing what she feels she needs to do to reclaim fame. I am all for exercising one’s right to NOT wear underwear whenever the hell it pleases one to do so. However, Kim, you aren’t 25 anymore and this is not becoming. The least you could have done was find a cantaloupe colored thong to wear under that cantaloupe colored dress. it is 2011. You don’t have to do this anymore to prove yourself. Not because it’s 2011 and we have made strides, but because it is 2011 and you have been in the game almost 20 years now. You have more than 3 platinum records. You were the first female rapper with a Billboard 100 #1 hit… YOU DON’T HAVE TO SHOW YOUR PUSSY. But you know what Kim, this just adds to the perception that the public gets when we add it up with all that plastic surgery - that you yourself don’t know your worth. There are loyal fans out here going hard for you… and this is how you show your appreciation? I am no hardcore Kim fan, but I appreciate you, Kimmy, and I will not accept that you forgot your undies… because 20 years in the game should have taught you that if you wear a short dress on an elevated stage, EHRYBODY gon be able to travel up your vagina with their camera lens. But you know what it’s 2011 and if you want to do this, go ahead… I’m just sayin.
And tumblr, particularly the negro conglomerate. I am disappointed. I have not seen y’all react to a vulva like this before. Have you not seen one before? Do you not know that they come in all shapes, colors, sizes & combinations? Black women… do you not have one? Is yours not a shade of brown? Some of you have huge labia majora that hang… just like Kim’s. Some of you have lop-sided asymmetrical labia majora. Some of you have smaller labia majora that allow you clitoris to easily play peek-a-boo. Some of you have extremely dark labia majora that protect your very pink labia minora. Some of you have labia minora that bloom outside your labia majora. I mean… the combinations are endless! Yet here you sit, with your own beautiful lop sided vagina and EWWW and ILLLLS and GAWK at Kim’s. Passing judgement. (Black) Men, did you not pass through and by one of these? I don’t hear y’all complaining when you are chasing it down, sticking it in, getting in your two pumps and a drawback.
You would think from your reaction that Kim was hiding the cure to cancer, the solution to the debt crisis, or enlightenment in that there vagina. But you know what is most upsetting about it… the fact that you will more readily react negatively toward a black vagina than you do towards a white one. And I’m sure you have seen plenty of those, and have never felt the need to throw up as so many of you have expressed under Kim’s photos. Black women, stop endorsing this bullshit. 
If you are gonna be mad, be mad that Kim isn’t valuing herself more and by extension reflecting badly on us and yes, influencing other young black women. Be mad that a black vagina is an anomaly… be mad that YOU a black man or woman believe this (whether you admit it or not, consciously or subconsciously). Be mad that you have been told that another part of you does not fit a standard of beauty created by someone who looks nothing like you. Be mad that no one has said to you that your vagina is unique, and will never look like Susie’s in the last porno your boyfriend saw… AND IT’S STILL NORMAL.
If Kim’s vagina was that disgusting for you to have a glimpse of I advise you black women to start loving your bodies. Grab a mirror, lay on the ground and take a nice long look down there and learn to love all the little nuances that make you you. You rather wait on a man to appreciate you but you don’t appreciate yourself. and you are passing all this dysfunctional thinking on to your sons and daughters. Get a fucking grip black people. Wake the fuck up.

*Get Geeked*

2.01.2011

Whips & Chains Excite ME!

If everyone was getting some morning sex in before work, the world would be a much happier place... believe that!


Nothin like a nice spanking in the a.m. to get that Ass ready to conquer the world... with a smile!




Big up to women every where who enjoy sex and aren't ashamed of it! 

1.20.2011

HAPPY NEW YEAR???

WELL HELLO MY WICKEDLY AWESOME LOVERZ & FRIENDZ!


I hope you rang in the New year with a glass of good champagne ... or bad wine and someone that you love... or like (enough that you didn't wake up January 1st or 2nd with regret and a hangover)


I also hope that you guys are maintaining all those ridiculous New Year's resolutions. In the gym sweating it out... I'm rooting for you! At least hang strong til Feb. 14th (wink wink nudge nudge).


I Kid. But seriously I hope you didn't make a list of unrealities. I don't want to be a party pooper or anything but we all know someone who wants to be the next Alicia Keys or Maxwell but when they sing it sounds something like a hyena giving birth to an elephant.


Picture that. Yeah... I know.


First let me say thank you for reading my blog, and supporting me the past few months! I love that you love it. And I appreciate that at the least you allow me to bring a smile to someone's face (I'd say once a day but we all know I don't blog daily)


Last year one of my goals was to create something new everyday. I put some gas in my writing tank & I managed to start this blog (let's face it, I. do. not. blog. every day), recommenced my poetry writing, and rehashed my song writing/composing skills ( i <3 Apple); I also revisited the artist in me and went out and got my oil pastel on (hits dougie); and I started making jewelry (http://lanomrahdesigns.etsy.com).


For the New Year I'm not done figuring out all my goals but I am trying to stay in an open space that allows positivity to flow in and out of me and my life. *cue violins*


So far so good! I'll be contributing to Barbados' newest online Magazine, Young Fabulous and Bajan, as the Love & Relationship person (I say person because I am no expert just experienced... as we all are). The name of the magazine says it all. It's still in development but I'm proud of how it has turned out so far and proud of the editor who dreamt up the idea months ago and made it a reality.


I'm also a contributor at PledgeAllegiance Blog. It's a blog dealing with Caribbean ev-er-y-thang and we attempt in our own unique way to keep emigrants and expatriots of the Caribbean (especially from our generation) in touch with what's happening.


Seee.... I don't just talk about sex. lol. And this will be the last infomercial blog for a while. :-)


Hear is wishing all of you a successful and prosperous new year, in love, life, health, professional,  academic, you name it.


So freakz n geekz....What are your resolutions & goals for the New Year? And how have they been working out for you? Still going strong? Share, share, share.