Whips & Chains Excite ME!

If everyone was getting some morning sex in before work, the world would be a much happier place... believe that!


Nothin like a nice spanking in the a.m. to get that Ass ready to conquer the world... with a smile!

Big up to women every where who enjoy sex and aren't ashamed of it! 

User's Guide:Going to Butt Town (via www.jezebel.com)

Hey Freakz & Geekz!

Around here you know we looove bullet points, lists, tips, tricks... Basically anything in a succinct entertaining format that contributes to taking your sex life from about as exciting as watching grass grow (if you don't find grass exciting) to about as exciting as getting caught doing the nasty in the car or the park or leaving your blinds open on purpose.... *clears throat* if you are into those very naughty things of course ;-D.

Sooo taking all of the above into account... I was very pleased to come across an article (for which this blog post has been named) on http://jezebel.com. This article is a great beginners guide on how to enjoy anal sex. Boy, girl or in between, giver or taker, tips abound for all in this piece. If you are not into anal, no problem, read and pass the tips along to an enquiring mind. This chick is one after my own heart... she's humorous and appropriately dirty in the mouth so... enjoy!

*Get FREAKED!!!*

Fellation Nation pt 1

When I decided to start this blog, I reached out to some close female friends of mine, asking them to share questions and concerns that they would like to have me address on this blog. I waited in anticipation for a plethora of questions on orgasms, and pleasing oneself and the works. But much to my surprise (and to the horror of others), at least 90% of the feed back I received were inquiries into the art of fellatio. :-o 

According to Merriam-Webster: Fellatio also fellation  n. oral stimulation of the penis

A.K.A. blowjob, bj, sucking a dick, giving head… and a whole host of other related names that you may not want to encounter on urbandictionary.com. smh.

Amongst the group of females surveyed, I was surprised to find that even those who were perceived as and perceived themselves as outgoing and sexually liberal seemed…well… lost. Some are lost in a “this looks familiar but gps would really do the trick right now” kind of way. Others, still, know the way to work, but wouldn’t mind another route just to keep it interesting. Then there are those who are lost in a “wow, they dropped me off in the jungle with no map, no matches, no anything… I’m gonna die here tonight” kind of way. Le sigh.

Why are we so intimidated by the penis? and I don't mean the King kong kind... Maybe it's the thought of the unknown. The fact that when he unzips and drops his pants, you may in fact be greeted by the LARGEST disappointment of your life (which ironically could be the smallest penis attached to a human) or the GREATEST shock of your life ("why doesn't he take that back to the construction site cause that tool needs to be uprooting pavements, NOT my ovaries!) Run Forest Run!. . . And on that spectrum there are sooo many unpleasant surprises that could arise ;). 

I'm gonna start out simple with a few tips to help decrease the awkward factor:

• First and foremost DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT do anything you are not absolutely comfortable doing. Discomfort lowers the sexy factor. You will have to venture out of your comfort zone eventually if you want to keep things sexy... but again that is why I used the word "first".
• Along this vein, do not be afraid to educate yourself. The only way to improve on your technique (or to get some) is to seek out the info already out there and make it your own. There are endless dvds *cough*porn*cough*, books, websites, and people you can consult. Ladies, do not underestimate the knowledge that can be attained from the lackluster plot and mediocre acting of a XXX film. 
• I think I mentioned this before, but being relaxed is essential. If you are not relaxed, you do not need to be venturing anywhere near his member with those chattering choppers, soon to be WMDs (weapons of masculinity destruction).
• Awwwwmen. <-- Get familiar with that aww sound. It's the one you're going to play in your head to remind you that if you don't mind your teeth, in a knee jerk reaction he may accidentally knock you out trying to protect his member from your samurai incisors!
• Don't feel pressured to have him climax. That pressure is not conducive to relaxing. And if I've said it once I've said it a million times - RELAX! If you are a beginner, get acquainted - show his penis some love. If you feel comfortable go in for the kill X-|(inappropriate expression) go for it! See my post Tricks are for.... for more tips. (And of course there will be detailed tips to cum! :-D
• It is very important to know what you're getting into. You can't judge a book by it's cover and similarly, you can't tell if his crotch smells like your brother's gym shoes. And you most certainly wont be able to tell if his penis is a petridish by looking! In other words, get familiar with dental dams and flavored condoms (I wouldn't recommend hopping on the same condom he got sucked off in) and above all... Get acquainted with his status!

*Get Freaked & Geeked*

Tricks are for....

The next time you see your man/lover/boytoy/fwb as soon as the door closes behind you, you walk him over to 

1. the living room couch: You give him a nice nudge that forces him to land square in the middle of the couch. This is your night to start off with. Put your dominatrix bustier on (well metaphorically speaking). Proceed to straddle your man. Doesn't have to be fancy, but it needs to be assertive enough so he knows that you are in control tonight and you mean business. Try not to knock anything off the coffee table unless clumsy looks cute on you. He is not allowed to touch you just yet. Use this to your advantage. Tease him with your tongue. If you don't know his spots, this is your chance to find them. And if you don't know what his penis looks like, this is your chance to get acquainted. If you are not into getting acquainted with his penis orally, then you continue to torture him with your tongue and you hands. Be mindful of the fine line between exciting and "omg! one more lick and my dick will be soft!" You undress him. You direct him where you want him to go. But I don't see why you'd want to go anywhere else when straddling him on the couch perfectly allows you to control the penetration, allows for deep penetration, ANNNND provides clitoral stimulation. After all... it IS about you tonight. Trust me, any man worth his dick will want to look down and see you workin it, reigning and raining all over him ;) . Prime real estate... it's all about the view!! Now for those of us who don't mind getting acquainted with the dick, all of the above may fall into round 2 or 3 of your session. Because after you treat him to a suck and a blow, he'll definitely want to repay the favor. Well, he should. And if he doesn't, drop that fool... he's crowding the space of someone who could be putting in as much work as you are. So!... Once u reach the undress point above you will be faced with that beautiful strong dick of his. I really won't get into too many details here since we will be adding tricks a.k.a tips on how to really give good head. For now though, here are some pointers to take with you:

• It helps to know what your man likes and how he likes it, but that doesn't mean there isn't room to blow his mind with something different every now and then
• Don't be afraid of deep throating. Gagging is a reflex caused by tension and anxiety... so relax literally, and relax your throat. You really can't choke on his penis unless you actually try to swallow it. And unless you have mastered some skill using the muscles at the back of your throat to create different sensations.... Just relax... really. It'll allow you both to enjoy the experience. Yes... it is less enjoyable for him if you are heaving on or actually throwing up on his dick.... unless he's into that... and that's a whole other blog. 
• If deep throating just isn't your thing use your hands to mimic an extension of your mouth.
• it's good to switch it up but when you feel him getting to that point. Unless the plan was just to get him aroused, keep it steady. Some guys like the motion to increase in speed and intensity, some don't. But just like switching positions or oral motions can kinda reset your orgasm, changing the motion or stopping does the same for him.
• Please do not forget to lubricate. I mean... don't be afraid to get your saliva involved in the festivities, however refrain from creating wild water kingdom on his dick with your mouth. He prefers that after you come. During head it just feels like he's thrusting his dick into a heated pool (see how exciting that is if you don't have arthritis?)
• Lil Wayne was right... you can and should lick it like a lollipop... i.e. Suction baby, suction! (hmm... maybe he was wrong and it should be suck it like a lollipop. . . something to think about)
• Did I say Relax? Relax! and even if you have no clue what you are doing here's some basic shit: mind your teeth, form a nice O with your lips and keep your teeth awaaay from the action. And bring the confidence too... if nothing else that'll get you off to a great start!!!!

P.S. the kitchen counter, dining room table, washing machine/dryer, the trunk/hood of the car, the patio chair are all excellent options for this. 

Disclaimer :You'll need somewhere sturdy... so use of the dining room table or any other furniture is at your discretion. We here at F&G are not liable for any injury that you may incur during the practice of this exercise. But have fun while trying:)!!

Geek => Freak!