11.10.2010

Virulent Vagina

Freakables & Geekables,


How goes it? Staying in touch with the freak in you I hope!... and the geek too 8-)


I am aware that the production of this blog may be regarded as a self defeating/destructive entity for couple  reasons:


     1.  Future employment - a blog about sex and getting freaky isn't necessarily a resume builder, especially when the sex industry is not on the horizon.

And sometimes even more daunting than that is:

     2.  The possibility of a significant/insignificant other/s discovering this blog on the top sites of my Mac and going apeshit upon recognizing the body parts in the banner, then escalating to ballistic when he figures out which story is about him.

But I have to say that I need to do this. Sex is an important part of life.... My life, any way. It's not the most important, but in a "romantic" relationship it is important. Whether or not you are "doing it" (it being the whole or the individual parts of sex) or not is important because your reasons/desires/motivations for doing or not doing so are sometimes simple, but more often than not are complex, layered, and mired with emotion.

So anyways, recently I had to take to twitter to ask a question. A question that could only come to mind after personally swimming in Lake Experience, located in WhereIam, USA. The question:


This is a very serious question.

Men call it blue balls - an annoying feeling, a pressure. A major discomfort for many who, when aroused to the point of erection with no where to release, may feel like their testicles will explode if they do not ejaculate somewhere. 

Well, this isn't so hard to understand once you learn that ejaculate can exit the man's body at an AVERAGE speed of 45 km/h (27.96 mi/h).  Average... meaning that the possibility remains his ejaculate could exit with Evil Knievel/ ambitions in "mind". Physics was never my forte, but it is for Dr John Marshall, Ph.D. Sexual Physics

So if my memory serves me correctly (and it may not), potential like that could lead to immense build up a.k.a pressure & that ball busting feeling.

But... what about women. Our potential children do not exit from our vaginas doing tricks and acrobatics. There is that phenom of squirting, but that has nothing on the speed and force of male ejaculate nor its likeness to the blade of Zorro's sword.

I speak to & from my own experience when I say that the female equivalent to blue balls is the virulent vagina. A vagina full of malice. A vagina that, angered enough, will kick you out of the house but ass naked and later send your clothes by snail mail. Ok maybe that's an exaggeration, but life has taught me that if I can think it, it has already happened.


Seriously, has no one else experienced the reverberating uterine angst of a disappointed vagina? A feeling like an olympic gold medalist miscalculated a shotput throw and the damn thing landed smack dab in the middle of your pelvic area? And once it landed proceeded to burrow its way into your uterus, daring you to not find a way to expel it? . . . No one?... Well ME NEITHER! psssht. 


 --   --
   __


That is what Virulent Vagina feels like... to me anyway. I imagine that if my vagina could speak during a gut wrenching episode, it would simply lament, "WHHHHYYYYYYYYY??" Virulent vagina is experienced if, like men, we are aroused to THE point... and then... left hanging... like christmas decorations all. year. round.


Any sexual partner that will leave you assed out (literally) in this sexual paint with no guilt, remorse, or empathy for your situation should be dropped. You be Diddy, let him/her be the band & send that ass to brooklyn for some cheesecake and tell em stay... amongst other things! Once is ok. Twice alright. Everybody can't be at optimum performance all the time. 


If you are in a serious relationship this shouldn't apply to you. If it does, you need to reevaluate. If you are in a casual relationship then rest assured there's another fish in the sea that gives a damn as to whether or not you are satisfied.


Because this is where the virulence comes in... the thought that a person could be so inhumane as to leave you stranded with merely a life vest in shark infested waters; to make you a part of the cast of LOST without your knowledge!


Some people will say I am giving too much weight to sex in a relationship, but ultimately the sexual stratosphere is but a reflection and projection of the character of a person. So if they are selfish in sex, chances are they are selfish in other aspects outside the >insert wherever you like to have sex here<.


In his/her defense, said person may be unaware of how their actions come off or affect partners so it would be beneficial for both parties involved to have this discussion. If he/she is aware however... GET YOUR ASS UP & OUT OF THEIR SELFSERVING PAINT!

3 comments:

  1. Yes ma'am this has happened, and does exist. Been there, had that. Won't happen again. I think this has probably happened to every woman, not so much as far as having sex for me but messing around with that new guy that you KNOW you probably wont be giving up the draws to..cuz its way too soon. Instead you fool around, kiss, touch, push his hand away, kiss some more, push his hand away some more. Then when you feel like you just might give in to all of this lust and have relations, you stop. Tell him that either you have to leave or you will see him later. Oh the aches, the pains. Yes, female blue ball or clit or whatever. I have definitely had it. Remedy: Masturbation. Hello! Don't look at me like you ain't done it befo'. Just because you get all hot and bothered and mister man can't bring you off doesn't mean you CAN'T get off. I have a very special friend (im sure yall do too) just for occasions such as these. SO yes sis, I personally have felt your pain. Didn't a very wise bear once say, Only YOU can prevent chick blue balls or something? Hmm No? Ok well anyways, make sure you take control of your Big O'. You don't have to be a victim. Watch a porn, or read some dirty stories. Make it happen' Captain.

    ReplyDelete
  2. :-) Did I mention I love you? I like how you think!

    And I'm elated that you brought up masturbation because that is an immediate and physical resolution to the problem of virulent vagina, and believe it or not, A LOT of women out there are not so familiar with the enjoyment of pleasuring one self.

    I am not one of them. :-)

    I wont get into too many details here but you should look out for a post on masturbation soon. And hopefully all our companions who are afraid to, will venture into it and feel more empowered. And consequently also realize that knowing how to please oneself is the first step in being pleased by another.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Interesting post. Many men could learn from this as well. Continue the great work.

    ReplyDelete