Dear Freakz 'n Geekz

Dear F&G,

What is your perspective on the act, actions, and sexuality of men who will give anal sex to woman but think gay men are wrong and nasty??


-Anal Hubris



Dear AH,

Wow! Well this is a multi-part question that can get a little complicated, but I’ll try to keep it as simple as possible.

My perspective on anal as an act is: to each his own. "Everything ain’t for everybody,” they say, but if one feels confident, comfortable, and adventurous enough to try anal, KUDOS. And if you like it, BIGGER Kudos to you. (yes, I said kudos dammit). At FreakznGeekz we endorse sex as a pleasurable act where two (or more) adults can participate safely in the enjoyment.

Here is where it gets a little more complicated. The sexuality of a human being is an entity that is affected by forces seen and unseen. Beliefs, desires, morals, environment, biology, religion, social pressures all have a part to play in “sexuality.” So the person who is comfortable in his/her sexuality and knows what that means has successfully mediated these outside forces. Whether one has chosen a label, chosen to be labeled or has just chosen to live a sexual life that pleases him/herself, sexuality is, in my opinion, just as much about what goes on inside the individual as much as it is about explicit acts in which the individual engages.

So I say that to say this….

An ass is an ass is an ass and so it would follow that an asshole is an asshole is an asshole (or anus for the politically and anatomically correct). So MY OPINION is that a man who engages in anal sex with a woman and subsequently expresses disdain and disgust at homosexuals for engaging in essentially the same act, is a man who is NOT comfortable with his sexuality. Why?

In the islands there is an expression that goes something like this, “Pussy ain got nuh face!” When you hear that you already know that all the right elements came together for a man to have sex with a woman that on a regular day is completely undesirable to that man OR for the more promiscuous it simply means that they will “fuck anything that moves and has a vagina.” To me, a man who is disgusted by the act of gay sex, yet engaging in the same act (by a different name) is probably concerned about why he is enjoying it so much, wondering if he is himself homosexual, and uneasy that given the right circumstances, the butthole wouldn’t “got nuh face” either.

Freakzngeekz is a judgement free forum but we also like to call a spade, a spade. I could go with the infamous “lipstick on a pig” or the poetics of Shakespeare, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” At the end of the day anal sex is anal sex. If you want to join in the arguments about religion, and nature vs. nurture, fine… join. Argue about homosexuality as a product of nature and genetics or upbringing and environment. If you want to argue based on morals and ethics, fine. I can accept that and would love to address any prejudices you may have in hearty discussion.

BUT if you are secure in the fact that you are a heterosexual man who is only attracted to women then there is no need for you to concern yourself with the bedroom goings-on of gay men. Furthermore you’d already be aware of the fact that judging the act of anal sex, something you would so readily engage in with a female lover, is quite hypocritical! This man you speak of is experiencing an inner struggle in an effort to mediate the effects of outside forces and what he enjoys, believes, and finds peace with.

My opinion is LiVe and LEt LiVE!

Especially if you are doing the same thing as the next guy… who made you Yahweh and told you to throw stones at his glass house?

*Freak==>Geek*