F&G Approved: Eat it Right!

Now granted, I don't agree with all of his opinions all of the time but I can however, put the F&G stamp of approval on this one.

Take note ladies & gentlemen....

*Get freaked*



Virulent Vagina

Freakables & Geekables,


How goes it? Staying in touch with the freak in you I hope!... and the geek too 8-)


I am aware that the production of this blog may be regarded as a self defeating/destructive entity for couple  reasons:


     1.  Future employment - a blog about sex and getting freaky isn't necessarily a resume builder, especially when the sex industry is not on the horizon.

And sometimes even more daunting than that is:

     2.  The possibility of a significant/insignificant other/s discovering this blog on the top sites of my Mac and going apeshit upon recognizing the body parts in the banner, then escalating to ballistic when he figures out which story is about him.

But I have to say that I need to do this. Sex is an important part of life.... My life, any way. It's not the most important, but in a "romantic" relationship it is important. Whether or not you are "doing it" (it being the whole or the individual parts of sex) or not is important because your reasons/desires/motivations for doing or not doing so are sometimes simple, but more often than not are complex, layered, and mired with emotion.

So anyways, recently I had to take to twitter to ask a question. A question that could only come to mind after personally swimming in Lake Experience, located in WhereIam, USA. The question:

This is a very serious question.

Men call it blue balls - an annoying feeling, a pressure. A major discomfort for many who, when aroused to the point of erection with no where to release, may feel like their testicles will explode if they do not ejaculate somewhere. 

Well, this isn't so hard to understand once you learn that ejaculate can exit the man's body at an AVERAGE speed of 45 km/h (27.96 mi/h).  Average... meaning that the possibility remains his ejaculate could exit with Evil Knievel/ ambitions in "mind". Physics was never my forte, but it is for Dr John Marshall, Ph.D. Sexual Physics. 

So if my memory serves me correctly (and it may not), potential like that could lead to immense build up a.k.a pressure & that ball busting feeling.

But... what about women. Our potential children do not exit from our vaginas doing tricks and acrobatics. There is that phenom of squirting, but that has nothing on the speed and force of male ejaculate nor its likeness to the blade of Zorro's sword.

I speak to & from my own experience when I say that the female equivalent to blue balls is the virulent vagina. A vagina full of malice. A vagina that, angered enough, will kick you out of the house but ass naked and later send your clothes by snail mail. Ok maybe that's an exaggeration, but life has taught me that if I can think it, it has already happened.


Seriously, has no one else experienced the reverberating uterine angst of a disappointed vagina? A feeling like an olympic gold medalist miscalculated a shotput throw and the damn thing landed smack dab in the middle of your pelvic area? And once it landed proceeded to burrow its way into your uterus, daring you to not find a way to expel it? . . . No one?... Well ME NEITHER! psssht. 


 --   --
   __

That is what Virulent Vagina feels like... to me anyway. I imagine that if my vagina could speak during a gut wrenching episode, it would simply lament, "WHHHHYYYYYYYYY??" Virulent vagina is experienced if, like men, we are aroused to THE point... and then... left hanging... like christmas decorations all. year. round.


Any sexual partner that will leave you assed out (literally) in this sexual paint with no guilt, remorse, or empathy for your situation should be dropped. You be Diddy, let him/her be the band & send that ass to brooklyn for some cheesecake and tell em stay... amongst other things! Once is ok. Twice alright. Everybody can't be at optimum performance all the time. 


If you are in a serious relationship this shouldn't apply to you. If it does, you need to reevaluate. If you are in a casual relationship then rest assured there's another fish in the sea that gives a damn as to whether or not you are satisfied.


Because this is where the virulence comes in... the thought that a person could be so inhumane as to leave you stranded with merely a life vest in shark infested waters; to make you a part of the cast of LOST without your knowledge!


Some people will say I am giving too much weight to sex in a relationship, but ultimately the sexual stratosphere is but a reflection and projection of the character of a person. So if they are selfish in sex, chances are they are selfish in other aspects outside the >insert wherever you like to have sex here<.


In his/her defense, said person may be unaware of how their actions come off or affect partners so it would be beneficial for both parties involved to have this discussion. If he/she is aware however... GET YOUR ASS UP & OUT OF THEIR SELFSERVING PAINT!

User's Guide:Going to Butt Town (via www.jezebel.com)

Hey Freakz & Geekz!

Around here you know we looove bullet points, lists, tips, tricks... Basically anything in a succinct entertaining format that contributes to taking your sex life from about as exciting as watching grass grow (if you don't find grass exciting) to about as exciting as getting caught doing the nasty in the car or the park or leaving your blinds open on purpose.... *clears throat* if you are into those very naughty things of course ;-D.

Sooo taking all of the above into account... I was very pleased to come across an article (for which this blog post has been named) on http://jezebel.com. This article is a great beginners guide on how to enjoy anal sex. Boy, girl or in between, giver or taker, tips abound for all in this piece. If you are not into anal, no problem, read and pass the tips along to an enquiring mind. This chick is one after my own heart... she's humorous and appropriately dirty in the mouth so... enjoy!

*Get FREAKED!!!*

Welcome to Mars: A Man's Beginner Experience with Tantric Sex Pt. 2

What up Freakz & Geekz!


Here is Part 2 of our first Welcome to Mars feature by guest blogger @Coreman2200. Share his first experience in the Tantric realm! If this doesn't make you want to take up Tantric I don't know what will. Click here for part 1. Read on...


What makes this whole experience so utterly brilliant (besides the fact that it in my case had been a 1+ hour long orgasmic adventure ;) is that, again, it is like remembering part of you. And since the first time, I have been able to tap back into it without much effort. The lack of control is scary, at first (we’re so accustomed to keeping our composure, even in the privacy of our very own bed rooms), so it may feel bizarre or even scary to give in to what at its most intense can be convulsive fits at even the slightest touch - this can be especially troublesome if you are not wholly in-tune with your partner (new love), or if this is all Self-generated (new Awareness). But let me assure you that the best thing you can do in this space is just to roll with it. For one, control comes in time as you come to See what is going on with your body, and only by letting go can you come to understand this. But in the end, to deny this and not explore it is to deny and ignore your very Self, and this will not do! Fear Not! Free Your Self!

        
For those curious, here are some tips to get you going and (more or less) on the right track to finding your own tantric adventure. Note that I’m no master at this, and should probably not even offer such advice for that reason. Ha! But I believe in sharing experiences, if for no other reason than to help illuminate someone else’s journey. So I hope these tips help! Here we go:

- Be calm, be patient, be still - Meditate! Meditation in my view is the only reason I was able to get to this other step so fluidly, because a lot of the same efforts are utilized. You have to be comfortable with freeing yourself of your thinking and distractions. It has to be all about you becoming one with and more greatly attuned to your Self. Meditation will most certainly help in this regard.

- If you play music, make sure it is music that resonates with you - flows with you - moves to your specific vibe (and if applicable, to your partners). Otherwise it becomes distracting, and distraction is the Last thing you want on this journey.

- Don’t Stress It. Just as in meditation, the point is not to think about meditating, itself, or your wants/desires, but clearing your Mind, and clearing away all the clutter (distraction) so that the Self  can speak through you directly, clearly.

- Find a book on Tantric exercises/massages/sexuality and become Aware of steps they suggest (breathing techniques, massages, settings and misc. ambiance adjustments) - to know how/where to touch your Self and/or your partner when the time comes is Very useful!

- I think this is the most important tip: Be Aware of your Energy and all the energy around you. It is Key. It is in fact what you are feeling - the loving rhythmic dance and caress of energy between you, perhaps a partner, and all of your surrounding Universe.

Dive In!

coreman2200




Rest assured we will be blogging further with the Core himself! And look out for more info on the Tantric experience right here!


*Get Freaked & Geeked*

Fellation Nation pt 1

When I decided to start this blog, I reached out to some close female friends of mine, asking them to share questions and concerns that they would like to have me address on this blog. I waited in anticipation for a plethora of questions on orgasms, and pleasing oneself and the works. But much to my surprise (and to the horror of others), at least 90% of the feed back I received were inquiries into the art of fellatio. :-o 

According to Merriam-Webster: Fellatio also fellation  n. oral stimulation of the penis

A.K.A. blowjob, bj, sucking a dick, giving head… and a whole host of other related names that you may not want to encounter on urbandictionary.com. smh.

Amongst the group of females surveyed, I was surprised to find that even those who were perceived as and perceived themselves as outgoing and sexually liberal seemed…well… lost. Some are lost in a “this looks familiar but gps would really do the trick right now” kind of way. Others, still, know the way to work, but wouldn’t mind another route just to keep it interesting. Then there are those who are lost in a “wow, they dropped me off in the jungle with no map, no matches, no anything… I’m gonna die here tonight” kind of way. Le sigh.

Why are we so intimidated by the penis? and I don't mean the King kong kind... Maybe it's the thought of the unknown. The fact that when he unzips and drops his pants, you may in fact be greeted by the LARGEST disappointment of your life (which ironically could be the smallest penis attached to a human) or the GREATEST shock of your life ("why doesn't he take that back to the construction site cause that tool needs to be uprooting pavements, NOT my ovaries!) Run Forest Run!. . . And on that spectrum there are sooo many unpleasant surprises that could arise ;). 

I'm gonna start out simple with a few tips to help decrease the awkward factor:

• First and foremost DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT do anything you are not absolutely comfortable doing. Discomfort lowers the sexy factor. You will have to venture out of your comfort zone eventually if you want to keep things sexy... but again that is why I used the word "first".
• Along this vein, do not be afraid to educate yourself. The only way to improve on your technique (or to get some) is to seek out the info already out there and make it your own. There are endless dvds *cough*porn*cough*, books, websites, and people you can consult. Ladies, do not underestimate the knowledge that can be attained from the lackluster plot and mediocre acting of a XXX film. 
• I think I mentioned this before, but being relaxed is essential. If you are not relaxed, you do not need to be venturing anywhere near his member with those chattering choppers, soon to be WMDs (weapons of masculinity destruction).
• Awwwwmen. <-- Get familiar with that aww sound. It's the one you're going to play in your head to remind you that if you don't mind your teeth, in a knee jerk reaction he may accidentally knock you out trying to protect his member from your samurai incisors!
• Don't feel pressured to have him climax. That pressure is not conducive to relaxing. And if I've said it once I've said it a million times - RELAX! If you are a beginner, get acquainted - show his penis some love. If you feel comfortable go in for the kill X-|(inappropriate expression) go for it! See my post Tricks are for.... for more tips. (And of course there will be detailed tips to cum! :-D
• It is very important to know what you're getting into. You can't judge a book by it's cover and similarly, you can't tell if his crotch smells like your brother's gym shoes. And you most certainly wont be able to tell if his penis is a petridish by looking! In other words, get familiar with dental dams and flavored condoms (I wouldn't recommend hopping on the same condom he got sucked off in) and above all... Get acquainted with his status!

*Get Freaked & Geeked*

Tricks are for....

The next time you see your man/lover/boytoy/fwb as soon as the door closes behind you, you walk him over to 

1. the living room couch: You give him a nice nudge that forces him to land square in the middle of the couch. This is your night to start off with. Put your dominatrix bustier on (well metaphorically speaking). Proceed to straddle your man. Doesn't have to be fancy, but it needs to be assertive enough so he knows that you are in control tonight and you mean business. Try not to knock anything off the coffee table unless clumsy looks cute on you. He is not allowed to touch you just yet. Use this to your advantage. Tease him with your tongue. If you don't know his spots, this is your chance to find them. And if you don't know what his penis looks like, this is your chance to get acquainted. If you are not into getting acquainted with his penis orally, then you continue to torture him with your tongue and you hands. Be mindful of the fine line between exciting and "omg! one more lick and my dick will be soft!" You undress him. You direct him where you want him to go. But I don't see why you'd want to go anywhere else when straddling him on the couch perfectly allows you to control the penetration, allows for deep penetration, ANNNND provides clitoral stimulation. After all... it IS about you tonight. Trust me, any man worth his dick will want to look down and see you workin it, reigning and raining all over him ;) . Prime real estate... it's all about the view!! Now for those of us who don't mind getting acquainted with the dick, all of the above may fall into round 2 or 3 of your session. Because after you treat him to a suck and a blow, he'll definitely want to repay the favor. Well, he should. And if he doesn't, drop that fool... he's crowding the space of someone who could be putting in as much work as you are. So!... Once u reach the undress point above you will be faced with that beautiful strong dick of his. I really won't get into too many details here since we will be adding tricks a.k.a tips on how to really give good head. For now though, here are some pointers to take with you:

• It helps to know what your man likes and how he likes it, but that doesn't mean there isn't room to blow his mind with something different every now and then
• Don't be afraid of deep throating. Gagging is a reflex caused by tension and anxiety... so relax literally, and relax your throat. You really can't choke on his penis unless you actually try to swallow it. And unless you have mastered some skill using the muscles at the back of your throat to create different sensations.... Just relax... really. It'll allow you both to enjoy the experience. Yes... it is less enjoyable for him if you are heaving on or actually throwing up on his dick.... unless he's into that... and that's a whole other blog. 
• If deep throating just isn't your thing use your hands to mimic an extension of your mouth.
• it's good to switch it up but when you feel him getting to that point. Unless the plan was just to get him aroused, keep it steady. Some guys like the motion to increase in speed and intensity, some don't. But just like switching positions or oral motions can kinda reset your orgasm, changing the motion or stopping does the same for him.
• Please do not forget to lubricate. I mean... don't be afraid to get your saliva involved in the festivities, however refrain from creating wild water kingdom on his dick with your mouth. He prefers that after you come. During head it just feels like he's thrusting his dick into a heated pool (see how exciting that is if you don't have arthritis?)
• Lil Wayne was right... you can and should lick it like a lollipop... i.e. Suction baby, suction! (hmm... maybe he was wrong and it should be suck it like a lollipop. . . something to think about)
• Did I say Relax? Relax! and even if you have no clue what you are doing here's some basic shit: mind your teeth, form a nice O with your lips and keep your teeth awaaay from the action. And bring the confidence too... if nothing else that'll get you off to a great start!!!!

P.S. the kitchen counter, dining room table, washing machine/dryer, the trunk/hood of the car, the patio chair are all excellent options for this. 

Disclaimer :You'll need somewhere sturdy... so use of the dining room table or any other furniture is at your discretion. We here at F&G are not liable for any injury that you may incur during the practice of this exercise. But have fun while trying:)!!

Geek => Freak!